New Orleans

Is a much needed vacation :]
I can't wait <3

My life is a hurricane of busy work.
And I don't even care, all I want is someone to hold.
I'm so tired of being alone, its pretty unbelievable. I was really into you, but you're not even close to into me...and it hurts more than it should.

I guess for now I focus on school, and try to ignore this feeling that's ripping at my heart.

And for the record, I'm joining the Peace Corps after college. And no one is changing my mind.

Saturday Night

It's 8 pm and I'm in bed.
I find this fact very pathetic. I'm staring out my window watching everyone leave for their Saturday nights out. And I sit here in bed. :[
Last night I got invited to a party. I was going to go. My sister got invited too. When I asked her about it she said it was canceled. It wasn't. She just didn't want me there. I've never felt so sad abouts something before.

Oh and you. I like you. So come spend time with me and let's see where this goes.

Just come spend time with me...

asheagvuibs09opfewn;lc~!!

My brain is crazy. I can't stop thinking about stuff and it circles and circles and spins and spins!; ;

And I think I want to fall in love. No, I want to fall in love. Ughhhhhhhhhhhh

Love sucks.

Someone come here and like me.

Postsecret

Stop sending in my secrets. It hurts to read them.

Dinner

Bloc Party says its all.

You told me you wanted to eat up my sadness
Well jump on, enjoy, you can gorge away
You told me you wanted to eat up my sadness

Do you want to come over and kill some time? <3

This song is about you and me.

I never wanted to love you, but that's ok
I always knew that you'd leave me anyway
But darling when I see you, I see me

I asked the boys if they'd let me go out and play
They always said that you'd hurt me anyway
But darling when I see you, I see me

Its alright I never thought I'd fall in love again
Its alright I look to you as my only friend
Its alright I never thought that I could feel this something
Rising, rising in my veins
Looks like it's happened again

I never thought that you wanted for me to stay
So I left you with the girls that came your way
But darling when I see you, I see me
I often thought that you'd be better off left alone
Why throw a circle round a man with broken bones
But darling when I see you, I see me

Its alright I never thought I'd fall in love again
Its alright I look to you as my only friend
Its alright I never thought that I could feel this something
Rising, rising in my veins
Looks like it's happened again

You always looked like you had something else on your mind
But when I try to tell you, you'd tell me never mind
But darling when I see you, you see me

I wanna tell you that I'll never love anyone else
You wanna tell me that you're better off by yourself
But darling when I see you, you see me

This is not what I'm like [x4]
This is not what I do
This is not what I'm like
I think I'm falling for you

I never thought - This is not what I'm like
I never thought - This is not what I do
I never thought - This is not what I'm like
I never thought - I think I'm falling for you
I never thought -
I never thought -
That I could feel this something
Rising, rising in my veins
Looks like it's happened again

And it looks like
I feel this something
Rising, rising in my veins
Looks like it's happened again

It was written for us.

Things I Miss:

Vermont
Kori
Blink 182
Louie the Cavalier
David/Abbie/Amber/Andrew like friendships
Commitment
Kyliee
Good friends
Meds
High School
My family
Peter
England
That stupid pub
Being happy
Sleeping
The quarry
Stars
Beraska
Mat
Carissa
Claire
Dancing for no reason
Enjoying life

My heart is definetly an idiot.

So wtf did I do to everyone? I've been talking to people I usually talk to all night and not one of them has had any interest in talking to me. I don't understand what I did, but whatever. I guess I'm just the type of person that would rather see someone say "Hey look, I don't feel like talking to you" rather than give you one word answers to every conversation provoking thing you say until you just give up. I mean seriously, just have the balls to say leave me alone. I'm tired of everyones crap.

It's also hot. Which just makes me angry. It should be nice cool fallish weather by now...Not 92 degrees in the end of September. And I went to Friendly's tonight and had shitty food and a shitty waitress. Things things just pile up...

...The point of this though...is if you don't want anything to do with me fine, but don't dick around, just fucking tell me.

Smoosh

Hey guess what? The band opening for Bloc Party on Friday is composed of two 13 and 15 year girls. I was scared too. But they're really good :o

Check it out.

Saturday Night

God I'm fucking bored.

Carbuncle is amazing.

Saturday nights are overrated. I think everyone in Winton is out getting plastered, and I'm sitting here playing FFXI. I'm so cool.

I really need to do work too. What is the point of college if you can't go out on a Saturday night and save all your work until Sunday at 11 pm. I get to sit here playing FFXI with no excuse to not do my work...and still end up doing it on Sunday at 11 pm. :)

Lately things have been on the crazy side. I don't even know what's going on in my life. But change is fun sometimes, I suppose.

We Are Pilots - Shiny Toy Guns

Holding close my secrets
Naked broken pieces
From the madness in what you do
The fingers point right back at you
What about my problems?
The people try to solve them
I guess I’m under the weather...
Since no one else belongs here, with me

Hello mother,
Some news for you
I’m really not that crazy.
Hello father,
I'm curious?
Why you think there's something wrong with me.

Sunday I cried all night...
And it hurt so bad
But if you try to understand--

This is who I am.

Color coated sweetness
Swords beneath my clean dress
I'm making sense of shattered dreams
Because I want you to be proud of me
What about my problems?
The people try to solve them?
I guess I'm under the weather
Since no one else belongs here with me....